Not Without A Fight
by KeepCalmAndDoItLikeAFanGirl
Summary: after book 11, eric is going to oklahoma but sookie isn't going to let him leave without a fight. while listening to a song she says goodbye to her old life, she was going to bring eric back into her arms and she isn't going to let go of what is hers! xx


***A/N - After dead reckoning one shot story based on the Corrs song long night. All characters belong to Charlaine Harris. No beta, all mistake's are my own. Another A/N at the end. Enjoy and remember to Review, Review, Review**

_**Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!**_

_No!_

_No! No! No! NO!_

_This is not happening, it can't. No! It will not happen. He can't, we had a plan, and it was going to work._

_We were going to be together forever._

_I was going to let him turn me. He would be my maker and we would never be separated._

_NO!_

_He couldn't just leave me, all alone. What was I going to do? Pam wouldn't be able to protect me like he could. She would try but there were too many things older than her that could get me and she wasn't awake during the day._

_I started hyperventilating at my kitchen table holding the letter that has shattered my heart. I knew he would, at the back of my mind a voice kept telling me that one day Eric Northman would break my heart._

_Stupid, stupid Sookie. I started feeling dizzy due to my lack of oxygen. My sobs and hysterical cries had left me breathless that I actually passed out on the table._

_My mind, as fuzzy as it felt went back to the day me and Eric eventually sat down and came up with idea's to stop his makers control from the ashes._

*0*0*

I heard a rapid knock coming from the front door, I turned off the latest episode if Jeopardy and made my way to the door – checking the peephole first, of course – I saw Eric standing there looking a bit lost. Oh god, he better not of been messing with witches again.

"Hey Eric, what you doing here? Come on in." He stepped inside and took the chair I offered him in the kitchen while I got him a blood.

"Sookie, I...I think might have come up with an idea but I'm not sure how to ask you because I know you don't want it, but it's the only choice that is there for us."

Okay now I am worried…

"Eric just come out and ask me before my mind goes into overdrive and comes up with the most ridicules thing's possible cause you know it will."

He hesitated for a moment before he gathered some courage from somewhere and continued to tell me that he would need to turn me. That if I belonged to him and he had to move out of state then I would need to as well and Felipe wouldn't want that. Felipe would then make sure the agreement was cancelled and everything is back to where it was.

To say I was shocked would have been an understatement.

I struggled for a few minutes to think, to say anything but nothing would come. I had been thinking about the life of a vampire for a while now. I didn't want to but I still had the Cluviel Dor and I could maybe wish to become a vampire and still go out into the sunlight so I wouldn't miss out on the sun and Eric wouldn't be my maker and our relationship could carry on.

I hadn't discussed any of this with Eric because he would want me to rush me into it and I was still hesitant. I had done only night shifts at Merlotte's for a trial week and stayed up until the sunrise and slept throughout the whole day. I obviously didn't drink blood because that would be icky. The trial week went ok and yes I did miss the sun a little but otherwise I was okay.

Me and Eric had stayed away from each other since the big battle and Victor's demise. We agreed that I needed time, he came over once or twice over that period of time but otherwise it was mainly phone updates from Pam. I felt lonely but in that time I had really cleared up a lot of things that needed cleared.

I still hadn't talked to either Amelia or Claude since our big fight. I still had a lot of anger against them and it was taking a lot for me to even think about forgiving them.

I heard a distant clicking and when I slowly came out of my daze I saw Eric snapping his finger's in front of my face. He looked puzzled and a bit frustrated. I probably would be if I locked down for however amount of time. I glanced at the clock and it had been at least 40 minutes that I had been pondering and thinking.

"Eric, this is difficult because you know I don't want to be turned..."

When I said this he dropped his head to the floor and looked defeated and angry

"But…"

He looked surprised when I said _but_. I felt his hope through the bond.

"But, I will think about it. I admit I actually have been thinking about it for about a month, ever since we killed Victor I have been thinking that I won't ever understand you or vampires in general unless I become one and I want to understand. I also want us to be together forever without my getting old, getting in the way. I love you and I want this to work. If you think it will really and truthfully work then I think that I will do it. But I'm going to need some time before we do it."

Honestly it was like a kid at Christmas. He looked so happy and I was happy that I could make him this happy.

After a very loud and mind-blowing celebratory romp around the house we finally settled in my room and talked about everything. Eric was going to make sure that it would work but we were 90% sure it would work which was enough for us.

He would go on a trip to see Felipe and the Queen and discuss it all. I still hadn't told Eric about my plan to wish to become a day walking vampire because I was too afraid that he would want to see the Cluviel Dor and for some reason I felt compelled to keep it hidden.

He stayed with me until sunrise and we both slept the sleep of dead – only I was alive-(for now).

_That was a week ago and I was expecting Eric back tonight with news and finally my turning. I had already discussed it with Dermot and he said he would keep away until we knew if I had the same urge to kill Fairies as other vampires do. What I wasn't expecting was a letter delivered by Eric saying that none of it worked and he wouldn't turn me anyway because he couldn't kill me and take away everything that I was. That he was marrying the queen tomorrow night and to bond with Pam so no one could take me away._

_He told me to live and marry and have children and grow old. What he didn't realise was I didn't want any of those thing's if it didn't involve him. Also he didn't realise that I was Sookie Stackhouse – stubborn, determined, crazy, part fairy and in love with a 1000 year old vampire who she wasn't about to give up – in general I was determined to get what I wanted and that was an eternity with him – ._

_I slowly started fading in and out, my eyelid's fluttered as I groggily started coming out of my hazy mind._

_I was lying down when my eye's finally opened. My forehead was damp and I was staring at my bedroom ceiling. I turned my head slightly and saw Pam; she was holding a wet cloth in her hand. Her eyes were soft and understanding and made me feel even worse, more tears fell down my cheeks, "he…he…he's gone Pam, he's really gone."_

"_I know Sookie, I know. He called me to come and see how you were and I came and saw you passed out on the table with his letter. I immediately knew what he had done; you've been out for about an hour."_

_She smiled sadly and a few more tears slipped down my cheeks. Even Pam's eyes were rimmed red with unshed tears. _

"_I was going to become a vampire for him, I would have gone anywhere or done anything for him… is it better Pam? Is it easier being a vampire? Can I just switch it off, all the pain, and hurt? Is it easier? It hurts Pam, oh god it hurt's so much. I feel like I can't breathe. It's like he ripped out my heart and lungs and everything else vital and threw it away. Please, please I can't do it anymore, please."_

_I put my head in her lap and sobbed. I couldn't do anything. I was a mess and I just wanted it to stop. Maybe if I become a vampire I can shut off these pesky emotions. I didn't need Eric to turn me. I still had the Cluviel Dor; Pam would teach me all the ropes. She would be like my vampire mommy without any of the power over me._

_As I thought about what I would need to do, Pam stroked my hair and hummed a tune to me softly. She was being amazing to me even though technically her maker had abandoned her too._

"_Pam? Will you come back tomorrow night? There is something I need to do and I need you there with me. Promise me you won't leave me, not yet. If you don't mind would you stay with me for the rest of the week? I need company, I don't want to put you out but you're the only one that understands and wont give me 'you'll be better off ' bullshit. Is that ok?"_

_I twisted my head enough to see Pam nod her head and I gave her a small smile in return._

_We stayed like that for a while until I calmed down enough to sit up and offer Pam some blood. I saw a glance of disgust across her face before she went stony faced and nodded, she didn't realise I was offering mine until I thrust my wrist out to her._

_She has been here for me and she deserved no less in my eyes. _

"_Nothing sexual, just blood." I told her. She hesitated for a minute before her fangs came out and she bit down softly and closed her mouth over the wound. It was a tad painful because there was nothing lustful involved but I didn't mind too much because I knew Pam and trusted her with my life._

_She took a few long drawls and when I started feeling dizzy I pulled her hair a little and she immediately pulled back and sealed the wounds._

"_I'm sorry Sookie but you are delicious. You are lucky I stopped, Thank you. Now that one of my need's are satisfied I need to find something for my other need, unless your offering your services there too…" she leered at me and I couldn't help but laugh. She always cheered me up with her ways._

"_Pam, as much as I love you, I don't swing that way and probably never will. Thank you for making me feel better and for not strangling me for ruining your clothes. I'd say I would pay to replace them but I don't think I would be able to afford it." We both laughed at that before we said goodbyes. Before she left she told me she would be here after sun set. I told her that would be ok and we went our separate ways._

_I had a lot to plan if this was my last day as Sookie Stackhouse human/part Fae._

_*0*0*_

_The sun was about to set in bon temp, Louisiana. I wondered if it would work but decided it may be best to just not think about it._

_I had loads of true bloods and bagged blood from a donor clinic ready .Dermot was at Claude's and waiting. My brother and Alcide built a better hidey-hole for me and got me some blackout drapes for my bedroom windows and a keypad lock for my bedroom door._

_If it worked then they would come back and do the rest of my home._

_I had the Cluviel Dor ready and now I just had Pam to wait for. I had my last home cooked meal and drunk my last cup of coffee about an hour before sunset.I had showered that morning and shaved everything, I plucked my eyebrows, highlighted my hair and got a manicure and pedicure. I was a picture of good health. I chose my outfit that I was dying in and waited outside in the last rays of sunlight before my human life ends._

_My mind went back to last night after Pam left…_

I closed the door when I saw Pam drive down the road.

I turned around and took a look around me. My home for most of life would be my home for all eternity. I would never have children or grow old, I would see those I loved die around me. But I would always be here and I will look after all of my decedent's, hunter's and Jason's children and their children and so on. I would protect them all.

I walked over to my CD player and put in a mixed CD I made ages ago. Before bill and before Eric. Before Supe's came into my life and changed it. For the better or worse was still undecided.

The first song that came on was by The Corrs, it was called Long night…

Is this like a stupid sign or something?

I listened carefully to the lyric's…

…It doesn't really matter now you're gone  
>you never were around that much to speak of<p>

Well he was here when he could be, he did stay away after his curse was lifted and after Victor's demise and a few other time's...

Didn't think that I could live without you, baby  
>it couldn't be that hard to live alone <p>

Harder than you think, to know you were all alone was hard. With The bond I had with Eric I never felt alone but even that is gone now…I still hadn't talked to Amelia since I kicked her out. I missed her…

But I'm all, all alone again  
>thinking you will never say<br>that you'll be home again

And he wouldn't, he would never be coming back. I may see him in passing but I wouldn't want to. Knowing he was married to someone else kills me but if I saw them together I don't know if I would want to live.

And it's gonna be a long night  
>And it's gonna be cold without your arms<br>And I'm gonna get stage fright caught  
>in the headlights<br>It's gonna be a long night  
>And I know I'm gonna lose this fight <p>

He was cold in general but he always warmed me. Inside and out. The night's without him were going to be so long and cold without him… god! I hated this…

Once upon a time we fell in love  
>And I thought that I would be the only one<p>

I did, I loved him – love him. But it seems it was only me willing to save our love by sacrificing my own life…

But now I'm on, I'm on my own again  
>Thinking you will never show<br>you won't be home again

He wasn't coming home, home to me…ever…

And it's gonna be a long night  
>And it's gonna be cold without your arms<br>And I'm gonna get stage fright caught  
>in the headlights<br>It's gonna be a long night  
>And I know I'm gonna lose this fight<p>

Lost in you arms baby  
>Lost in your arms<p>

I'll always remember the way his arms held me when I cried or was hurt, when we danced…after we made love…

Now I'm on my own again  
>Thinking you will never show<br>you won't be home again

And it's gonna be a long night  
>And it's gonna be cold without your arms<br>And I'm gonna get stage fright caught  
>in the headlights<p>

I love him, but why was I the only one who wanted to fight… I feel so lost… the way we danced in the moonlight, the soft caress of his lips…

It's gonna be a long night  
>And I know I'm gonna lose this fight<br>I'm gonna get stage fright caught in the headlights

I heard the pitter patter of raindrops on the old tin roof, the rumbling of the skies ready to wash away everything. I walked out the house onto the porch and let the rain wash over me; I still heard the music in the background…

It's gonna be a long night  
>And I know I'm gonna lose this fight<br>I'm lost in your arms baby  
>Lost in your arms<p>

I would always be lost in his arms but now here I am without his arms and I still felt lost… I didn't know what way was left or right, north, south, up, down…nothing.

I didn't realise I was still outside until I started shivering from the cold. I slowly walked back inside and into my bathroom to wash the wet mud off my feet and to get my temperature back up again.

It was near 2 am when I was finally finished with my own pity party. I called Jason and told him I wanted him over here now. Knowing the tone of my voice he was here in 20 minutes.

I explained everything and we sorted out everything I needed done. Surprisingly Jason didn't try to stop me. He knew I felt like I didn't belong and when I become a vampire I would belong to a community. A very dead community but still…I told him that I would always be there for him even if I was slightly different. We talked and organised all night into the morning. When the sun began to rise we walked out onto the porch to watch the sunrise…it was beautiful.

_Now here I am, I invited Pam in and sat her down explaining what I was doing. She was reluctant at first but agreed. I laid down on some plastic sheeting in my lounge in case I lose blood. (I didn't want to stain anything.) I took one last look at everything before my world changed and made my wish…_

_From now on every night was going to be a long one until I had my lover back where he belonged…lost in my arms._

**A/N – I AM ON A ROLE TONIGHT! **

**2 one shots in one go – bow chicka bow wow… hehe**

**Whatcha think? Review and let me know. I am not a big fan on Book 10 and 11 but I just had this idea for after the latest book and thought why not? I have thought about maybe carrying on with it but everything I try just don't work. If anyone would like to carry on with this than go ahead but I do ask that you send me a PM with your idea and maybe the first chapter so I can see what you're planning to do.**

**Of course I can't stop you if you want to go ahead and turn it into your own story but I am asking. **

**Hope everyone is having a great holiday season and the family isn't driving you too insane (I know mine are lol) and I hope you enjoyed the new season of True Blood (even if Sookie is mentally retarded!) and the new Eric Northman – still HOT as ever! In the words of Sookie .Yum…**

**Lol.**

**XxXx**


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